~some ramblings from a girL~

2006-12-13T06:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, life brings out something in you that you don’t know that you do possess it.
No, I’m not talking about your potential, your talents, or anything tangible.
No, I’m talking about your fears.
Yes, you’ve got me right. FEARS.
There can be so many different types of fear. Xenophobia, phobias of heights, phobias of weight (?) (Does having eating disorders count?), phobias of just about anything.
But for me, I’ve gradually walked out of something dark.
Dark.
I’ve always been the paranoid type of person. Like what Jie Ying mentioned, it’s utterly ironic to say that one has just added paranoia into the list of worries/fears. -_-“’
I worry just about everything under the sun.
But what worries me the most is that I worry about having non-existent stuff. How aptly ironic hur hur. Yeah, things like me having the slightest chance of contracting all sorts of diseases. Diabetics. Breast cancer. You name it, I’ve prolly have thought about it before.
Diseases are scary. They usually hit you when you least expect it. I mean, how often have you heard of anyone saying “I know I would be the unlucky one.”? More often than not, it’s has been like “Damn it! Why does it have to be me?! What did I do wrong to deserve this?” But diseases are democratic in a way. Everyone does go through some sort of illness before. Honestly, who hasn’t been sick before?
Well, at least I am trying hard to conquer one other fear. The fear of failing.
Since Primary One, I’ve always feared failing my tests, exams etc. Anything to do with school stuff. Be it academic-based or non-academic based.
Particularly academic-based.
I vividly remembered that I cried just before my first ever examinations in Primary One. It stunned me. It stunned my mum. (And my mum always seem to make it a point to tell other people about it. -_-“’ ) I mean, here I am, a little girl who is supposedly brave. Brave enough not to cry on my first day of kindergarden. Brave enough to shoo my mum away while just about every other kid is wailing their lungs out and clutching on to their mum’s/dad’s legs, refusing to let go. Here is a girl who is not afraid of any first days of school; here is a girl who yaks to her teachers as though they are her friends. She, afraid of an inanimate object such as the test paper? You must be joking!
I am not joking.
I am sure everyone of you out there are afraid of examinations in one way or another. But I doubt you fear them as much as me.
I fall sick before EVERY SINGLE EXAMINATION PERIOD. Damn it, always just before them! It affected my concentration in trying to mug, and thus it only served to make me even more worried.
Did I study enough? Did anything go in? Heck, did I even understand what’s going on?
Anxiety is bad. It made me forget about a LOT of stuff when I do enter the exam hall. Thus, sometimes the results do not reflect what I’ve prepared.
I started worrying about my grades before my exams officially started. I continued to worry during the exam period itself. I worried even more after the exams.
BASICALLY I JUST KEEP WORRYING ABOUT IT NON-STOP UNTIL THE RESULTS ARE OUT.
And then, I’ll prolly be disappointed.
Life is hence such a dark vicious cycle.
But hey, I’ve gradually walked out of it. I’ve stopped thinking about how I’ll fare. Correction. I tried to stop thinking about it. If you ask me whether I still do, the answer is yes. Well, after all, the catchword is ‘GRADUALLY’. Heck, I even resort to being a councilor to some of my friends!
My point is, if I can overcome my fears, so can you.
I’m absolutely sure of it.
Life can indeed bring out something in you that you don’t know that you do possess it. In my case, I’ve never thought I could ever see the light out of the tunnel. But I’m beginning to see it. And yes, it’s a good thing.

2006-12-11T00:25:00.000-08:00

Eh, as anyone can see, I am so UTTERLY bored at home. So, I've decided to revive this blog!

(I almost forgot the password sia! Ahem* )

Nothing much to write, nothing much to update, so I'll just treat this post as a mini-celebration of sorts of the RISE OF THE UNDEAD-BLOG! LOL.

LALALA. Till again then! =)

Psychology! I like..but I like English too..basically i love languages..sciences please go away!

2006-01-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!

English

92%

Psychology

92%

Sociology

92%

Philosophy

92%

Anthropology

83%

Mathematics

83%

Theater

75%

Engineering

75%

Art

75%

Dance

75%

Linguistics

75%

Journalism

67%

Biology

67%

Chemistry

58%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

am super bored..and this survey overrates me..HAHA

2005-12-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

What do Harry Potter Characters think of YOU? by WetWillie
What is your name?
What is your favorite subject?
Which word appeals to you?
Which of these would you rather do?
What do you think of Harry Potter?
Harry thinks...	you're too high-maintainance.
Ron thinks...	you're his soul-mate.
Hermione thinks...	you and Harry would make a cute couple.
Fred/George think...	you're a worse flier than Ron.
Draco thinks...	you're mind-blowing in bed.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Oh No Am I Too Bo Liao?

2005-07-09T01:45:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I am SOO bo liao now, lazing around at home, with nothing much to do except to read newspapers ( I love reading newspapers! They make time pass more quickly.), or watching news or whatever nonsense there is on TV.

Some cute things I've found due to my bo liao-ness:

From TNP:

LESSONS FROM NOAH'S ARK

Noah did not just built an ark, but he taught some important life lessons too.

1) Don't miss the boat.
2) Whatever your life story, we're all in the same boat.
3) Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
4) Stay fit. When you're 60, someone may ask you to do something really big.
5) Don't listen to critics---just get on with the job.
6) Build your future on high ground.
7) For safety, travel in pairs.
8) Speed is not always an advantage. The snails came together with the cheetahs.
9) Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic by professionals. Guess which one sank?
10) Whatever the storm, there's always a rainbow waiting.

From myself:

Lazy Guy 1 was lying on the bed, for *ahem* lazing around, (Duh!) when Guy 2 came rushing into his room at 12pm.

Guy 2: Yay! TGIS! Thank God it's Saturday! Yay! Just finished my work! 1 and a half day of full resting and slacking around!
(Guy 1 looks utterly lifeless. He couldn't be bothered of course. I mean, he's been slacking and stoning there since..erm..he was unemployed?)
Guy 2: Ok, I just realise that I just made an utterly useless and unnecessary comment to someone who's always slacking.
Guy 1: ( (-_-") in his mind)... Gee thanks for that utterly useful and necessary compliment. I love it! (continue to lie on his bed, slacking and stoning.)

*****************************************************************

From FRIENDSTER BULLETIN:

(so the bad language has nothing to do with me..=) )
hey do u hav 500 frens too? =]
Message:
- Inspired- Inspired by Samuel/Jun Haowho wrote a very true article.- Hope this article will be passed down to those who realise it's the truth.You see, people in friendster are like NUTS, Guys and Girls, no offence but, girls especially.You guys use the word me as miee, you as euu. 'diao' so damn frequently like using your grandma's lawn.Do yous guys know the meaning?Guys too, listen up.Diao - meaning a male's genital or rather, manhood strong and powerful,robust and sturdy.You guys use it as if it's some -_- statement. Acting cute while you are at it.Like what Samuel said, Friendster profiles are chewed up and spit out like bad bacon.Next point. I know for you youngster reading this atthe age of 10-13.uP aNd DoWn is WaYyYY cOoL. ReAlLYuBeR aNd 1337. No, if you grow up,you'll find it real lame.Unless you have a nickname which was like this till now. Try completing a resume using aLtErNaTe cAps. I bet the person reading it will laugh his lungs out.It's wayyyy gh3y. YES, GH3Y, pronounce it and it becomes GAY. Notes to add :GH3Y is in h4ck3r's language. I'm done with the first half, take a break. Drink some coffee. Done? Read on. 75% of the girls always have this or something similiar in their profiles. dUnCh MeSsAgE miie iN fWeNsTeRtWoo aDd eUu. yOU aDd miEe oNlY.dUnCh aDd miIe JusT beCuZ eUu wAnTmOrE fRiEnS.OH COME ON. I've seen many girls advertise on irc like this.. example. no offence now. This one's from the channel #teens[02:57] add miee in fwenster . .@hotmail.com asap pls. .! thx! Her profile which i went to, had the message.>>>> if u msg muee to add muee in2 ur acct, sowie. im NOT interested. just dun eva try ta add muee jus bcus uwan more fwens or u wan feel popular in fwenster.i dunch entertain to this kinda lame shiet. See the irony? Anyways. Many peoplejust add to raise some social status. Especially those with 400-500 friends and need another account.Since you have SOOOOO many so called 'friends'. How many actually talk tou? do you all talk to each other?All 500 of them? even msn messenger cannot hold 500 contacts.There are sure to be people with 2 account or more, let's take 500 as 400then. Still, MSN MESSENGER can only hold150 contacts, unless u r a premium member.I hope i'm not inflicting any pain to you if your one of those like stated above,it's just the painful truth that shows how retarded and imbecile singaporeans can be.So girls, stop euuu-ing and miieee-ingand pwease, ish bery irritating to shee tat.S uch english, go rot in hell ^^. And it isn't cute at all. People would laugh at your stupidity instead. We would love to minimize the spellings in a word, likereducing you to u. Which retarded would wanna type u as euu? Either you're childish or just stupid.The reason why Singapore isn't very much improving cause of US,we singaporeans have become laughing stock of society actually.

******************************************************

Yes I fully second to that. =)

OH NO I AM REALLY BO LIAO! How? I need a life. Like Kenny Sia's. =)

The One About A Bizzare MRT ride (and a little story at the end for thought)

2005-07-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

*PS: I can't seem to reply to tags! It keep asking me whether my 'cookies' are deactivated! And no matter how I try, I just can't seem to deactivate the cookies!! Someone pleassseee kindly help? Gee, thanks! Anyway, what do you guys think about the new layout? I love pigs!*

Went out with my fave Claressa yesterday. It was a great day to me as usual, and I'm always contented to go out with my friends (in this case Claressa or Cla for short), and whatever happened shall be a secret. Or rather, since the outing has nothing to do with my blog title lar! Heh. Anyway, many thanks to Cla's friends for treating me Sakae Sushi yesterday! I owe them one! And of course, thanks to Cla for shopping with me yesterday, and the amount we spent was horrendous...to say the least. Ok, let's move on and not talk about such unhappy stuff (i.e: pondering about the forever diminishing bank account. I presume everyone has the same problem as me? Erm, maybe not. Because there's always Chelsea around. Which translates to a certain Mr Roman Abramovich around, whose billions just can't stop increasing. WTH? But that's not the point.

I was on the extremely squeezy MRT ride at around 8:45pm. I had no idea why the MRT is crowded at the particular point of time. It's like everyone's bodies were packed like sardines, and readers are encouraged to imagine how that feels. Haha.

As the crowd starts to disperse at Lavender MRT stop (I haven't had the slightest idea why the mass exodus at Lavender stop. Maybe 'coz people want to sit coach to Malaysia? That's the only reason I could think of. Any idea peeps?) Anyway, there's this group of adults, comprising of a rather short, geeky, nerdy guy who had a back-to-school black bag to complete his look, who was constantly distracted by the rest of the females while he was reading some chim book, and yar, that bunch of ladies, who were very well-dressed and were definitely tai-tais or tai-tais-in-the-making. One could know from the way they dress; everything from head-to-toe were branded, and one of them even had a white hat! Yes, those traditional yet elegant white hats that you would only see in European countries, like those kind of hats from Howl's Moving Castle. I'm like, EXCUSE ME? You are in the MRT, where there is constant shade from the sun. Moreover, it is AT NIGHT OK! Everyone was staring at her lar; either she doesn't know or she doesn't bother( I highly suspect the latter was the reason). Oh no, I went out of point again. Argh, no wonder my GP compositions were either passed with flying colours (Actually I truly wonder who created the phrase? What flying colours? HUH? How can colours fly? It's just so...illogical and illuminated with fantasy.), or I flunk them real bad. It's always the extreme! Okayt, anyway the women gave him a Parker pen. A Parker pan can! The guy refused, but still accepted it in the end when they tried to act angry and chroused "Why don't you accept? How can? We know, you must be thinking why are we giving you such a small gift right? Don't you like it?" Anyway, the guy looked as though he didn't want to be there, and yet he was trying hard to impress by 'hao lianing' how well he spent his time. He emphasised that almost all his friends were getting married, while on the contrary, he was a swinging single who had lots of time on his hands (Again, how can anyone has time on their hands when time is such an intangible thing? Bizarre!) and thus, he wanted to constantly upgrade himself and therefore was always learning something new and diverse. The women seemed impressed (or maybe they were just being polite), but to me, it just seems that he was trying wayyy tooo hard. Anyway, I soon learnt that one of the women is married. And she was the one he was yakking to most of the time. Go figure.

(In case you are wondering why I know such detailed details, it's not 'coz I was eavesdropping. Their conversation was LOUD enough for anyone in the near 8-10 metres to hear it. And I was only standing next to them. So even if I tried to sht off my ears, I'm not sure whether or not I could prevent myself from hearing. IT IS NOT VOLUNTARY lar.)

The main traumatising part came. After that particular group dropped off from Eunos stop, I heaved a sigh of relief. Yay! Peace ahead!

Just when I was still gleeing from the fact, a rather small bulit lady in her late 30s or early 40s suddenly looked at her own reflection and walked towards me and complained. (I was leaning on the side of the doors that do not open; she was standing in a manner that was facing me.) The conversation went something like that.

Lady: Oh my goodness, my hair is sooo dry and frizzy! How? (Proceeds to touch her hair in an unhappy manner, sulks, and looks at me helplessly.)
Me: Erm, why is it like that? Did you try using a hair conditioner?
Lady: Yar! But I still don't know why my hair is like that. How? (Wails)
Me: Hmm, maybe you should use a leave-in conditioner?
Lady: Huh? You mean there is a brand called 'Leave In'? (She thinks the word 'leave in' is the name of a conditioner brand!)
Me: No, it's a kind of conditioner that you do not need to rinse off. After shampooing your hair and towel-dried it, you apply some onto your hair. In a way, it works like a hair cream, but the effects are way better.
Lady: (sounding impressed) I see. How I wish my hair is as soft as yours! (Proceeds to touch my hair) You don't mind right?
Me: (Embarassed) Erm, no. Don't worry about it. Actually i just dyed my hair 2 days ago, so it's a bit dry and stiff..
Lady: (cuts off my sentence) No! It's not! It's so soft. (reminiscing) Guess we all had those times when our hair was soft and nice. Sigh, I'm getting old. How I wish I can turn back time.
Me: Yar, I understand what you mean. Hmm, you were once my age before, which means you once had what I have now. At least you have it before. It's like the irony of life. When you were young, you desire to grow up quickly and on the other hand,(I start yakking incoherently.)
Lady: Yar, that's life, isn't it? (looks sad) Anyway, why do you dye your hair?
Me: Erm, I have a lot of white hair. It's genetic, that's why. (That's where my mistake started!)
Lady: Actually, ...........................(talks a lot about DNA, genesm biochemical science, biomed etc etc for about 5-7 mins. I don't reall understand the terminology of science terms. What to do? I'm such an arts person. Moreover, she made a point in emphasising her son is 21 years old and currently studying biochem in a university, and seems interested in me knowing her son. ?!?!) I believe that a person's diet, one's upbringing, one's way of life and climate affect a person's DNA and genes. You see, so I don't really believe when you say about genetic or hereditary..
Me: Oh I see, I get your point. (smiles politely)
Lady: So, where are you alighting?
Me: Tampines.
Lady: Same as me! Haha, which means I would have some lovely company till then. (She compliments I look intelligent. ?!?!) So, are you working now or what? How old are you?
Me: I'm 19, waiting for admission for university, majoring in Economics.
Lady: (hears wrongly) Oh I see. So what do you think about the world economy now?
Me: Erm, actually I'm an undergraduate-to-be. Entering university soon. This month, to be exact. (Flashes my megawatt smile in order to cover my paiseh-ness for my inability to answer her question.)
Lady: Oh. Anyway, you should start reading about such stuff soon in order not to lag behind. Are you pursuing what you really like and enjoy?
Me: Yup, I really do like econs. I maybe doing another major in English Literature (it's my turn to boast) I know they are diverse subjects, but I like them both. Highly analytical.
Lady: That's very good. I'm glad you are able to think that way. If people pursue what they do not like, they will not get any satisfication and it would be so boring. Life would be meaningless then. I like your uniqueness.
(By this time, we had already tapped our Ez-link cards.)
Me: Are you taking a bus?
Lady: No, dear. I have a bicycle parked there. (points at This Fashion direction there)
Me:Oh I see.
Lady: Bye. It was nice to meet and know you, dear. Have a great day!
Me: (glances at watch) Yup, me too. Have a great night!

*Scurries off*

*******************************************************************

I have no idea why I keep meeting weird people. But in this case, I would call it an unconventional meeting. Who would think of meeting a new friend (though she's twice my age) in an MRT, just when you are about to doze off? Hmm, interesting.

Checked my email when I reached home yesterday. YAY! I have a hostel room already. I'm in Hall 1, anyone same as me or near me? So far, I only know Yiling is posted to Hall 6!

Pros and Cons of Hall 1:
Pros (1): I heard it is the hall with private toilet! But must clean ourselves lar.
Cons (1): It is damn old! It is the oldest Hall!! Looks gothic and errie ourside
Pros (2): I MIGHT get an aircon hostel? Even if I have, I heard I might need to wait for around 6 mths for the aircon to be up and going. Shall update again when I go there and check it out.
Cons (2): It's quite far away from my school aka faculty! Sigh..
Pros (3): The spirit in Hall 1 is the BEST! (Everyone says so.) Sounds like TPJC Arts Fac to me! Heh.

So far, these are all I can gathered. Will update when I know about it more clearly.

********************************************************************

While checking my email, I received yet another Friendster message from strangers to make friends. ARGHH. Again. And this time around, it's a guy who's already attached. WTH? Which makes me think...what's the point of writing "Who I Want to Meet:Who i would like 2 meet, i've already met the gal of my dream. She's very understanding,loving,caring,supportive, down 2 earth,..i love Everythng bout her.. I'm so happy i finally found u .. Well u noe hw i feel .. remember the man n the moon!!! :p" when you don't mean it? It's like cheating on your other siginificant half behind their backs? Maybe I should try putting "In a Relationship" to stop all these nonsense coming in. Opinions, anyone?

Since I was surfing Friendster, I came across this unique message that was sent to me LONG LONG AGO!

Date:
localDateTimewithTimezone("June 13, 2004 2:04 AM","timetag1");
Sunday, June 13, 2004 5:04:00 PM
Subject:
wanna wrk part time for LUX in june and July? gd commission!
Message:
Hi
"Lux wants girls in July. Girls must be presentable with nice hair "
Lux wants girls in July. Girls must be presentable with nice hair
and skin. These girls must be able to COMMIT till at least the and skin. These girls must be able to COMMIT till at least the 2nd wk of July. They need not have perfect complexion and can
2nd wk of July. They need not have perfect complexion and can be slightly plumb. Singaporeans or PRs only, and at least 18 yrs be slightly plumb. Singaporeans or PRs only, and at least 18 yrs
of age..The working days will be thursday & friday ( 6pm - 9pm) , saturday & sunday ( 2pm - 9 pm). A total of 20 working hour saturday & sunday ( 2pm - 9 pm). A total of 20 working hour each week. The pay will be $5/hr, which is the average market rate. The commission is $1/big bott and $0.40/small bott of LUX shampoo or ANY ORGANICS shampoo. If you check, most LUX shampoo or ANY ORGANICS shampoo. If you check, most commission will not even exceed $0.40/bott/pckt. Locations are at supermarkets. We will try to put you somewhere near are at supermarkets. We will try to put you somewhere near your home, if not somewhere centralized like the city area.The LUX male personnel has tried selling ( Choa Chu Kang) for just 2 hours and he sold 20 bottles!! If you can sell just 4 bottles in an hour ( abt 1 every 15 minutes), you can earn up to $180 for the week for just 20 working hours!LUX is a distinguished brand and it is not a problem selling it. But these girls MUST attend the NTUC COURSE on 7th July, at magaret drive. It starts at 850 am and ends at 5pm. Another compulsory training will be paid by LUX for personal grooming, product knowledge and hair as they want these girls to uphold the LUX image. Time and date to be confirmed later.You can ask more of your girlfriends to join in. You can contact me at 97471303 in the day or email me at justinalow58@yahoo.com. Do leave your contact number so that I can call you if anything. They hope to keep this going on for 2 months and if it is good, they wish to have a long-termpromotion for 1 year. Of course they will hope to use the same girls. Therefore, do think about it again. It is definitely a good money making investment. If you are able to commit, do not hesitate to drop me a mail/call. Do hope to hear form you. Please reply through my email above as I have exceeded the day's friendster's msg limit and will not be able to reply you. Send me a picture of yourself and LEAVE YOUR CONTACT NUMBER as well. This is quite an urgent matter, as we need another 10 gals as some of them backed out. Thanks.
Regards,
justina

Haha, what do you think? =)
****************************************************************************

A little story to share with you all. I created it myself. =)

There was once 3 male prisoners sitting on a bench, chatting to each other. 2 of them were not intellectual, and only one was cleverer than the both of them. The smarter one was reading a random book that were given to them but none of them know how to read or can't be bothered. Let's call the smart guy SG, and the 2 other guys as Guy 1 and Guy 2.

Guy 1 and 2: How are you reading?
SG: Oh, just a random book.
Guy 1: What is it about?
Guy 2: Yar, I also want to know!
SG: Hmm, why not I tell you a story?
Guy 1 and 2: YAY! Okay! (sitting closer in anticipation.)
SG: There was once a guy who want to send 2 guys to Africa...
Guy 1: (cuts off SG's sentence): Aiyo, can make it simpler?
SG: Okok, hmm, for example, I sent you (points at Guy 1) , and you (points at Guy 2) to Africa to sell shoes...
(Before SG could finish, both Guy1 and Guy2 started arguing.)
Guy 1: What rubbish? Africa people are soooo poor! How to afford shoes? They don't even know how to wear shoes! Go there sell sure lose $$! SG, are you mad? It's a money-losing business! Who would be so dumb to sell shoes there?
Guy 2: No what! Great idea! I love the idea. They don't know how, teach them lor! Can you imagine? Nobody would sell there except us! We will be the sole supplier! We'll be rich! Yay!
(As they argue, SG walks away.)
Guy 1 and 2: Hey! Why are you walking away? You haven't finish your story!
SG: I finished already what.
(Guy 1 and 2 look confused.)
SG: (smiles) You see, the meaning I am trying to get across is in no matter what kind of situations or circumstances, there will always be the optimistic people and the pessimistic people. Understand?
Guy 1 and 2: Oh I see. Yes!

Understand, people?

It's traumatising to be in Malaysia!!

2005-07-07T02:23:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm just back from Malaysia two days ago. And what do you all know? This hjas got to be my most traumatising Malaysia trip ever. Ever.

It was meant to be a 4 days 3 nights trip to Genting-cum-KL. Initially, I wailed and pestered my family to extend the trip, maybe like 5 days? But thank goodness that they didn't, or else I would be cursing and scolding myself endlessly.

I woke up at an ungodly hour of 4:50 am, when I only managed to catch about 3 hours of sleep at most. So readers are highly encouraged to imagine how vampirish I look like, with saggy eyebags and dark eye circles, and some uber unsightly blemishes appearing on my face. (Arghhhh!! Whatever happened to my almost flawless face? Heng ah, I am recovering sia. If only any of you saw me that day, my face's angry blemishes are truly at its peak performance man! Haha, okay I know that is not the point. Whatever man.) So, to cut short, armed with my luggage (yes, that particular luggage bag that I brought to go Genting for competition.), which was awfully light as it was only half-filled (Ok I digress again. I mean, you might ask me why do I bring along that luggage bag when I could easily brought a handier and smaller one? Aiya, what else man? Of course it must be retail therapy lar! See, I am so WELL-PREPARED. Haha!! **Point of reference: I did not buy many clothes. In fact, only a measly 2 t-shirts. Hai, so disappointing!!!)

Ok, so off we went to board the coach. Of all seats, I was seated behind with my brother. I mean, ALL THE WAY BEHIND can!! Initially, I thought nothing about it; in fact, I was quite pleased with the arrangement, because it means I can have some peace!! But what do I know?? Being a 6-7 hour trip, it had gotten hotter and hotter. And of all times, the air-conditioner that is placed so strategically on top of me, blowing such cooling wind at me, BROKE DOWN!!!! Broke down ok! And it broke down at 11 + am. Which is one of the hottest time of the day!! I was actually snoozing away, cuddling my B.U.M bag as a makeshift bolster aka pillow, when it broke down! How do I know? Because I was SWEATING like a roasted pig lar! And then something else happened. The coach was blewing some weird HOT exhuast from behind, 'hitting' my back oh-so-directly. So traumatising! But what to do? I had to endure for the rest of the journey. I was lamenting to myself how suay can i be?? Luckily for me, when the coach was twirling (Ok it sounds wrong. But whatever.) around that mountain, going up the slope, the bus grew gradually colder and I became pleased and pacified after that. I was not going to let that bus ride ruin my trip, my last overseas trip before my school term starts.

I shall not bore you, my readers, with what I eat, what time I sleep etc. It's so nonsensical. But I must recommend that particular restaurant called "Spice Garden". It serves such mouth-watering and sumptuous Indian food that it was well worth the money. So, if you ever go Genting, go dine there!! Anyway, I shall narrate to you about what happened next day.

For the next two days, 6 out of my 8 family members went down to KL, travelling by the coach, which was an hour ride. Luckily, the coach's air-conditioner did not broke down. So after a smooth journey, we reached KL at 10am. 10 am!! Haha, we boarded the earliest bus, which was 9 am. Anyway, the weird me woke up at 5:45am. Arghh! Haha, must be the usual time for jogging. (yes peeps, laugh all you want. I just started jogging. At such unearthly hour. Go ahead and laugh) Ah, I digressed again. Sorry about that.

My GM (it stands for something. go figure. its easy-peasy.) , being old, has diffculty walking. Moreover, some parts of her shoes had fallen off, and it made her even harder to walk. Being the typical kiasu Singaporeans, my aunt and I scurried off to Puduraya bus station to purchase the return tickets for the last ride back to the hotel. So suay again. Because the bus station was undergoing renovations, so we had to find the make-shift ticket booths in the really bad-smelling station. When we finally found it, we realised that the last ride was at 7 pm leh! Just when the city gets really up and going, we have to head back. Such weird timing! But anyway.

Since her shoes are spoilt, we went to Sungei Wang to get her a new pair. Being thrify* (thats the nicest word I can think of), she began to argued at the shop assistants for discount. It is so paiseh, because it is written clearly that it is nett-price there, and being a shopping centre, how can anyone ask for discounts? She finally relented and bought a pair of comfort shoes for walking. But throughout the rest of the day, she kept nagging and nagging, complaining how expensive the shoes are. Complain until I also headache.

The climax came. After finishing lunch, my aunt suggested that we go Sogo instead of staying at Sungei Wang as we had been to Sungei Wang for many times but never to Sogo. We started down the escalator and out of the sudden, my mother and I (we were walking abreast of the rest) lost sight of the rest of them. We started to panic. I mean, shucks! None of them has a auto-roaming service in their handphones, except my mother and my other aunt, who was staying at Genting'c casino. We were petrified, to say the least. Never the calm one, I began uttering all the worst case senarios that could happen, despite knowing my mum can't be nervous, or else she would need to go to the loo. I began telling my mum to go to the entrance, as we had told one another in cas anyone got lost, we should just stay there and wait for the rest to turn up. But alas, there is absolutely NOBODY there! We panicked even more. My heart was pumping at its fastest rate and my mind was not working per normal anymore. My mum even tried to calm me down though I could see she was more scared than me. After a while, I told my mum to remain where she was and I went to search the whole building (I'm not good in anything except directions. Really.) I started running and people stared at me awkwardly. It was a bad time to get lost as the shopping centre was holding a break dancing competition at that point of time. Everyone crowded around the area and started cheering or jeering. It only served to add on to my panic scale. When I finally gave up, I went back to where my mum was situated and guess what? She wasn't there? Now you can imagine my panic scale has reached the MAXIMUM. Anyway, we finally found one another after around 30 minutes. My father, being the ever grouchy one, tried to use his silent treatment on us, but deep down, we all knew he was just as worried as any of us. Can you all guess why we were separated in the first place? Yes, very clever ah you all, its none other than my GM. Since she couldn't walk fast, there are certain people who went to cut her queue and thus we couldn't see one another. And you think only Singaporeans do that. How wrong. On the other hand, to say the truth, none of us really had any mood to shop, but still, off we went. There's nothing sigificant there for me to blog about, except that my GM kept complaining why were we there and not going back to the hotel yet. SIGH. To think that we keep telling her that our bus was scheduled for 7pm. We repeated countless times, but nonetheless, I supposed she really got a poor memory lar.

On the 3rd day, GM decided not to travel with us. We were actually relieved because in our minds, this can only mean one thing--->>>SHOPPING at ease! Yay! But we woke up late, and by the time we reached KL, it was already 1pm. As usual, my aunt and I went to purchase the tickets first. After that, she came up with an ingenious idea---to take the LRT. Our opinions were mixed; on one hand, this could be the kind of experience and exposure we need to really view the city ina different light as compared to the norm of taking cabs everywhere, yet on the other hand, we had not taken the LRT before, excluding my aunt and my brother, who took once each. After much of my aunt's persuasion, we decided it was okay. We took the gamble and hurried off to the LRT, which was just behind the bus station. My aunt suggested going to The Mall because none of us had been there before. The ride was supposed to be a easy 4 stops away. I mean, what could go wrong right? Wrong, everything that could be wrong went wrong. First, we took the wrong side of the LRT, which means we had to switch over to the other side. However, my aunt was chatting with a Penang girl and she was telling us we should not alight the next stop because it would mean we would have to pay again as there is no detour. But at this point of time, the LRT had closed its doors and my mum and my brother were both outside, staring at us as the LRT went past. SHUCKS. As a result, we got lost again. AGAIN! Second time in 2 days. Having no choice, we listened to the native Penang girl who told us (my aunt, me and my father, who was getting grouchy and angry, kept scolding my aunt indirectly, 'coz he was scolding my aunt through me. Gettit?) and alighted 3 stops later. We crossed over to the other side only realise it was WRONG way! Luckily my aunt knew some Malay and managed to understand a cleaning lady (she cleans the LRT walkways). I could only guess from her gestures that something was wrong. We do not need to cross afterall! WTH?! Ah.. to think we trust the Penang girl. Tsk tsk. Anyway, we were reunited again after we made our way back to the station where my mother and my brother was. Sigh. It sort of dampened our mood to shop again. But like what my aunt said, it was indeed an experience.

(Okay, let me digress a little. The LRT has no divided seats; it's like a bench. And it is made of METAL! Can you imagine how cold it is when we sat down? Moreover, the train conductor would SOMETIMES read out the station (yes, it is LIVE, not pre-recorded), not ALWAYS. As a result, we could not rely on the train conductor; we relied on our eyes instead. Oh yar, one last thing-->> the LRT has many carriages connected to form a long train, and one cannot cross over, unlike Singapore's MRT, where you can board at any part of the train and still managed to walk to the end. Malaysia's LRT is separated leh! And the funniest thing is, the train doors only open for 5 seconds. The doors opened for 2 seconds before the sound 'beep' went off 3 times and immediately, the doors CLOSED! So one has to be very very fast in order to rush out. Now I fully realise what it really meant when people say 'time waits for no man'. Perfect example. Heh)

The Mall is not like any conventional mall. It is like a culture mall, where it sold lots of traditional costume. And guess what? We saw the Sultan!! But I am not sure which Sultan it is, sorry ah, 'coz I was at the 4th storey when I heard drums and applause and I sneaked a peek and I saw him. Couldn't catch what the emcee was saying though. But he really has a good life! People fanning (yes it is TRUE!) him. I got bored after a while (especially when I could not see very clearly and could not hear either.) and went to shop Parkson Grand. Parkson Grand is Malaysia's equivalent of Metro or Isetan, and the difference is that Parkson Grand is only limited to Malaysia, unlike Metro or Isetan, which are international stores. But sadly, I did not see anything I like ( I seriously think their fashion lag us, no offence, personal opinion) and thus left the place empty handed.

On the 4th day, we set off home. It was a smooth journey until the bus suddenly screeched and halted. Everyone was jolted awake and looking at one another, wondering what's wrong. Then we realised that the 'fan' inside the coach system was spoilt. The driver and a kind-hearted man tried to remove and replace a new one. Just when we thought everything was fine, the coach screeched again. This time, we knew something was really wrong with the coach. Being defiant, I said very loudly ( haha for the driver to hear) that since Yong Peng (the rest stop for all coaches) was only 2 km away, we should 'ying (4) cheng (1) xia(4) qu(4)', which means we should 'die die also must reach there before the bus died', and miraculously, that's exactly what the driver did. After having a simple dinner (I only ate 2 'paos'), the driver informed us that the coach really cannot move anymore, and we had to shift all our belongings to the other coach, which happened to have some 10 empty seats. The 8 of us and another 2 from our coach rapidly move our belongings and luggage to the other coach. This time round, the coach is damn steady man! It sped all the way! Can you imagine? After listening to 3 songs, the coach had already travelled 20+ km. Super fast. My brother commented that Malaysia has super good drivers. There was only 1 streetlight every 5-10km or so. It is that bad! We couldn't see anything and yet the driver could drive so freaking fast! Damn pro!! =)

OOPS! Just realised that this is a really LONG entry!!! One last thing before I end; at the Singapore Customs there, the customs officer kept looking at me in a weird manner, as though I look very different from the passport photo. Gosh, seems like I must change my passport soon? =)

Self-discovery

2005-06-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

*PS: Before I start, I would like to say that I'm sorry I can't reply to tags! Sorry PS!! And yes, I can't believe I spend s much either. In fact, these days, when I'm on a blog hiatus, I've spent even more!! Help!!!*

Warning: What I've written below is very long-winded and serious yet true. If you are those that can't be bothered to read about some 'lor sor' self-discovery of me, just close it.

I realise that I:

1) love to be alone most of the time.
2) is really an introvert, no matter what people say about me about being sociable and an extrovert.
3) am a nervous wreck sometimes. I would shiver or break into a cold sweat when I really nervous and helpless.
4) am very shy at times, especially when I'm surrounded by aquaintances or strangers.
5) don't really like to talk a lot. (refer to point number 2)
6) like to aim high and sometimes unattainable targets for myself. Perfect example of "Bu(4) Zi(4) Liang(4) Li(4)..
7) am rash and yet organised, detailed and rational. Oxymoron, yes I know. Or maybe not.
8) love to write, but sometimes I do not know how to put those thoughts into words. I would really love to write a bombastic sensational piece, yet I am not confident enough to do so. My mind would keep rattling in my head that "Oh no, you can't do it! You are just not good enough!" or "Forget about it! Nobody would read them anyway."
9) would do whatever I can to achieve my aims and targets. Yes, I'm scary. In fact, I vowed (ok, not that serious, but sort of promised myself) that I must get a first class honours, or at least a upper second class honours. I don't really know the reason why, but my mind and heart keeps urging me to do it. You know, just do it! No matter what. No compromises. No second chances. And I shall try appying for the award again next year. And re-apply if I don't get it again next year. Even Miss Lam (the cool and hip econs teacher. Yup, i keep in contact with her!) Just keep on applying and applying. So that I can have my career pathed out clearly. In case you are wondering, yes, I really do love to teach. I get a sense of great satisfaction and gratification when any of my students do well. I would feel really proud of them, and myself too. I saw my own potential to change someone younger than me. I would love to help them gain self-confidence about themselves. I really do. And another reason why I refuse to enter the social world of business is because of the endless backstabbing, gossip, people trying to climb all over you, get bullied and yet there is no avenue for you to let it out etc etc. In short, business politics. Yar, I know people would sneer and say that's part and parcel of life, and that business politics would also extend to the public education sector. But I would tell you that it is rather minimial, and I'm doing something I really like to do. Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I have no idea why people say I am not cut out to be a teacher. Perhaps it is 'coz I am childish and immature to them? Or am I too naive? Some friends commented that I have an too optimistic outlook in life, and thus, I'm not really living in the real, cruel world, where money is the priority. I laugh, mostly light-heartedly, even when people tease me. (I get teased all the time.) To me, life is too short for anyone to stay angry and unsatisfied at people or other things. Why waste half of your life holding a grudge against someone? Why take revenge? Sigh, I really don't know. I hope to have clear answers, but in life, there's never clear answers. If not, why are people struggling to come to terms with certain phases of their lives? Identity crisis, I would say.
10) Last but not least, on a light-hearted note, there's something about me that is common to everyone. I adore shopping!!! Haha. Shopping is really good for the soul, but really bad for the wallet too. Haha!

Any comments please tag! I would love to hear your views. Really I do.

Cultural Exchange.....NOT

2005-06-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

Yup, you didn't read wrongly. The places that I went to yesterday may seem exotic and weird for an outing. But with me around, life's never ordinary. Heh!

The two places that I went yesterday:

1)Chinatown (just a little digression---> My friends used to mock me about being a Chinatown 'frequent go-er', and that I could be Chinatown's ambassor 'coz I love going there so much. But they didn't realise that I go there fot a purpose. Ok, i mean TWO purposes. K-geing in KBox and scouting for cheapo China-parallel-import CDs which are waayyyyyy cheaper than Singapore's or Malaysia's version. I mean, you can get like 4 parallel import CDs for the price of 1 CD you find in major music stores. Moreover, the parallel import CDs are also cheaper than in Sembawang Music Centre(SMC) or Music Junction(MJ). The price is only half the price as compared to SMC or MJ!! YAY!!! And singing in KBox Chinatown is better than other places because it's slightly cheaper and the service is wwwaaayyyyy better too!)

2) Little India (aiyo, we're there just to eat dinner and shop for groceries in Seng Shiong Supermarket 'coz it's cheaper!!! We sound so auntie-ish.)

So I could conclude that it was a culture exchange....NOT! Heh.

Actually, it's a cousins outing cum a girl's day out (including my aunt who paid for everything that we did yesterday! Yeah, thanks!!). We had so much 'mo qi' that we all wear jeans!! Okay, it might not sound anything major to any of you, but to us, it a BIG yes 'coz we almost never wore anything same before! And I can safely conclude that all my cousins are getting so pretty and gorgeous that I felt out of place!! (Anyway, that's not the point. Heh) One of them even dressed like Jolin in '72 Transformations'. Everyone was literally ogling at her (you all should know the ah-peks and uncles and even male teenagers with rushing hormones). Actually, it was not that all bad lar. Perhaps more horny male teenagers than other age groups. Heh.

And all these happened in KBox too. A group of guys were looking at her and she couldn't care less. I suppose she's confident about herself lar, though she looked flattered by all the interest. Anyway, she's a fashion designer in the making. She really has the aura, confidence and looks of it. And her drawings for her portfolio (yes she as already started preparing for it!!) are like damn nice lar!! Super chio k?

The only thing major that happened yesterday was that there was a girl who fainted in the toilet. Like literally. Her body was 'nua' and she seems to position herself rather uncomfortably, not to mention smelly. (Hello?! It's the toilet afterall!!) Apparently, she fainted because she knocked herslef out by downing too much alcohol. Thus, she was feeling giddy and seeing stars everywhere and started to dash to the toilet to vomit. But she fainted before anything happened. Her bunch of friends came in soon after, scolding her while trying their best to wake her up. Can you imagine? And did I mention that her bunch of friends also include guys. GUYS IN THE FEMALE TOILET!!!!!! I didn't realise anything strange until when they tried to pull her up and back to their allocated room did I notice they were guys! And one of them went up to my Jolin look-alike counsin and pointed at her and traumatised her by saying "I know you!" and keep repeating it. She couldn't recognise him until she scruntinised his face. At first she acted like she didn't know him. She had us all fooled. So we just walked out of the toilet in a somewhat nonchalent manner. When we are about to reach our room, she told us that she did know him. He was her Secondary 2 classmate but he dropped out of school that year too. Which means he is only 16 this year!! And they are actually consuming alcohol? I know, I may sound conservative or what but I was really surprised. Don't ask me why though. KBox has rules and regulations stating they would not let people who are below 18 to purchase alcohol from them. That makes a double shock for me. Didn't they check their I/C? Or maybe because they dressed like they were my age, or even older than me. You know, with make-up and clothes and accessories. On the other hand, the guys could have molest or rape her for all they want and she won't know anyway. Girls, whatever happened to self-defence and protection?!?!

(*Another digression. I hate it when people mistake me for some 14 year old girl who doesn't know her stuff etc. Sometimes I can't buy 4D or Toto for my mum because they thought I am a 14 year old naughty girl who loves to try her luck on gambling. They would go "Oh, xiao mei mei, you cannot buy leh! You are not 18 yet. Go home and hao hao yong gong du shu!" (which translate to 'go home and be studious') I had enough!! ARGHHHHHH. I remembered I went to GV Marina and the girl (yes a young girl, most probably working part-time) denied me from purchasing movie tickets for "Meet the Fockers", which was a NC-16 show. HELLO, not allowed to buy tickets to NC-16 shows?? She claimed that I was 14 year-old girl. WTH?! I angrily (no, angry is an understatement) shouted at the top of my voice that I am a 18 going on 19. (The show was screened last Dec. I was almost 19 then.) She waved me away nonchalently and insisted I am just a 14 year old. ARGHHHH. I was really red-faced by then and I screamed at her that I am 18!! To prove matters, I flashed my I/C at her and immediately she stood up to apologise to me, saying she didn't know. Like WTH?? Sigh...what's with me and 14 years old?!?! Do I look like a 14 year old to you??? Why 14 of all ages? Anyway even SJ's mum mentioned that I even looked younger than her daughter. ARGHHHHHHHHH. )

Okay, there's a salesman knocking at my door now and irritating me with his incessant talking and knocking. No one in the family bothers about him, yet he goes on and drawls on and blabbers on. Aiyo, so noisy!!!

I shall stop here. I don't know what to write anymore.

2005-06-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Tang Jie Ting, you are...

'PoiPoi' Apple Lim of verypoisonouslady.blogspot.com

You look like a stereotypical bimbo outside but its a different story inside. You're a nice, simple, proud and straightforward person who believes what you're doing is right. You don't change people, and you love them for who they are. Your primary goal in life is to be happy, next to being pretty. You have your detractors but you don't let them bring you down. You go out of your way to help others out even before they ask, and for that they love you.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

GSS aka Great Singapore Sale!!!

2005-06-10T03:23:00.000-07:00

Arghh!!!

DO you like GSS?!!?

Hmm..... I find that GSS is a mean conspiracy conceptualised (ok, perhaps there is nothing to conspire about, haha) by the gahmen to force common folks like you and me to consume goods and services that we usually would think twice about (hmm, maybe thrice or even more. As you all know, $$ is so HARD to earn, and that's an understatement!) (* okay, I find the sentence weird and is so econs haha)

I mean, like why? Newspapers reported that Singaporeans are a spendthrift lot, as our consumption is like about 40% of GDP (I read it last year. For econs. Yeah. Haha) And now, more recently, it was reported that Singaporeans do not spend as much as foreigners even during GSS. Hmm, so what does the gahmen do some more?? Have more sales lar!!

And what does this lead to?

People like me (ok, maybe only me, but who knows?) spend ridiculous and absurb amount of money to splurge and spend like there's no tomorrow. The sales are so astonishingly cheap, I just got so tempted to buy this and that. And you know what? That's pretty bad. VERY BAD.

I mean, I've stopped working, in official terms and definitions and all, which means I've stopped contributing to the Singapore economy. (WAIT A MINUTE, I *cough* spent, remember? Consumption, people. C + I + G + (X-M) = GDP. Rofl.) And my last tuition ended yesterday.

Which leads to one conclusion.

I overspent.

Easy as that.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's no incoming, yet there's so much outgoing!!!! (How i wish $$ is like mobile phone talktime. You know, free incoming and all.....)

To date, since the GSS started, I bought:

1) 1 GG>5 orange shirt.
2) 1 nonsencial-but-definitely-cute-and-i-think-worth-it black shirt from Bugis Street. It has shimmering stuff. haha.
3) 1 pair of brandless jeans at Bugis too. Very normal and definitely cheap and value-for-money.
4) 1 Mango Basic blue tee.
5) 2 Espirit black tees.
6) 1 U2 jacket cum blazer? Green, but not those green.
7) 1 U2 white tee.
8) 4-6 KBox sessions .(and more to come!!!)
9) 1 white skirt from Osmose .(or something like that)
10) 1 pink-based-yet-got-other-red-to-pink-colour FIN skirt.
11) 1 FOX vintage cargo black pants .(or was it 2??)
12) 1 Giodano khaki black long pants.
13) 2 Potpurri shirts/camisoles.
14) 1 Fujitsu S7021 Lifebook. It's a laptop!!!! Super Expensive but is very new. Just came out last Thursday. Bought it at the PC fair. It has a lot of space (80 instead of 40 or 60 GB) and it has FINGERPRINT RECOGNITION TECHNOLOGY!! As of course, it's fast and etc etc..
15) Maybe got some other stuff but I forgot to take note of it/them.
16) GSS is so NOT over yet!!!

OMG.

That's pretty bad right? Or was it an understatement?

To think that I was sick for the past one and a half weeks.

I don't wish to think about it.

*Disclaimer: I just realise that not all are paid by me. Some are paid by my parents. haha!)

Have a great day everyone!

2005-06-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.

Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.

Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..

You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
curious:

www.life-blood.vze.com

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

-still SICK and COUGHING and SNEEZING-

2005-06-02T00:36:00.000-07:00

'Enuff said.

cough cough

2005-05-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

i'm so sorry for not able to update frequently these days. As you can see from my title, I'm terribly sick. Ok, not terribly, but still, the irritating cough just won't go away. I couldn't sleep at night, or even if I could doze off for a while, I would definitely wake up in the middle of the night umpteen times. In fact, my throat feels 'itchy'. It's as if there are thousands of ants having a competition in my throat. You all know that kind of feeling, don't you all? Anyway, surprisingly, I'm not having a fever, nor do I have a runny nose. I guess that's some kind of consolation?

*PS: I'm still coughing!!! =(*

2005-05-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Nori Imaidegawa

What's" your Japanese Name?

Caring for your heart

2005-05-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

*The story is fictionous but the meaning intended to convey is there.*

The phone rang in the middle of the night.
"Who could it be?" I was ready to curse for people who woke me up in the middle of the night.
I picked up the phone and the incessant sobbing and wailing and heaving greeted me.
"What's wrong?" I asked, the anger dissolving. I'm a sucker for these kind of stuff.
"He is so darn RUDE," she shiveled, paused and took some very deep breaths to stop her from hyperventiliation, "I can't believe he did that to me. Again. How can he be so mean?"
"Now, hush, stop crying. Tell me, what did he do this time?" I asked, recalling some pretty good ones and couldn't wait to hear if this one's any better.
"Well..you know, he asked me to come over to his house to study,' she whimpered. "And while we were studying some other girls came to visit him. And he acted like he didn't even know me! "
"I wouldn't worry about it," I said wisely. "I used to get it all the time."
"But I've been dating him for TWO years," she blubbered. "And when they asked him who I was, he told them nonchalently that I was his SISTER! Right in front of me!"
OUCH!
She was understandably DEVASTATED. But I knew that in just a matter of hours or days she'd be thinking he was the greatest thing since slice bread or instant noodles. Sure enough, a few days after the incident, she was crazy about him all over again.
(*moral of the story*)
Do you ever feel that, like my friend, you're riding an emotional roller coaster, up one day and down the next? Do you ever feel that you're the moodiest person in the world and that you can't control your emotions? If you do, in any of the above, welcome to the club, because those feelings are pretty normal. You see, your heart is a very temperamental thing. And like your body or even plants, it needs constant nourishment and care, just like your body.
The best way to sharpen the saw and nourish your heart is to focus on building relationships. In other words,
1) Keep promises
2) Be loyal
3) Listen (as in really listen..not listen and drift into space!)
4) Say you are sorry ( from the bottom of the heart)
5) Do small acts of kindness
6) Set clear expectations
Like what Mother Teresea said, "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyses, kindness in your smile." And that's how you care for yourself and others. You'll love yourself for it!

sigh..BAD NEWS!

2005-05-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

=(

guess what?

my MOE Teaching Award application has been REJECTED.
Because I flunked my interview.Because I've said something WRONG.
SIGH.
Which means I have to pay for my own university fees...
Which is like DARN expensive!!

The letter that they sent to me was very diplomatically written: "...We have looked carefully into your application for a Teaching Scholarship/Award. We regret to inform you that we are not able to consider your application favourably. The Ministry has received many applications and we have considered your application in competition with all other applications that we received. .........We would like to thank you for your interest shown in the Education Service and wish you the best in your future endeavours."

"So polite for what? Don't have means don't have! Try to be so nice for what? If really so nice they would give you the Award what!" my father grumbled incessantly.

Yup. I agree whole-heartedly with him. But I surprised even myself that I could let go this so easily. I only felt a moment of disappointment. And now I'm still per normal. People commented that I should consider myself lucky that I could get both first choices (ok that sound oxymoronic, ha) in the 2 universities that I've applied for, because not everyone can go into university in the first place. Perhaps I should look at how fortunate I am already...or shouldn't I?

some poems i wrote in secondary school

2005-05-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

ESCAPE

Escape from this unreal world

Where people are so fake

They held your hand

And say its okay

When you know it’s not

Is this what they call console

Or comfort as they say

Why does it seem so fake and superficial

The sound that come out from their pout mouths

Out came all the sugary words

Do they really think

They understand the real me?

How can they possibly know

Me more than me myself?

Why must they say until

As though they really know me

When all they know

Is me on the outside

The me, that always wear a mask

To translate all the tears into laughter

And overwhelming sadness into ‘genuine’ happiness

When they see I’m smiling

They thought I’m okay

But deep down inside

Do they really understand how I feel?

The agony

The pain

The memories etched permanently into my mind

Into places so deep

That they have became so entirely entrenched

That pricks my heart

Into the deepest places

That nobody knows?

A place where only I suffer alone

This is where I get all my insomnia nights from…

Am I really insane?

How would one define insane?

Such a thin line between sane and insanity

Or is it defined by societal standards

And who is to judge another

Anyway?

Who do they think they are?

Moralistic and full of justice peeps?

Maybe

They are the ones who are crazy…

As the rain hits the pane

I feel this sense of loss

I toss and turn

Trying to think hard

The reason..

It may well be that

I feel that life’s not fair

Or maybe just because he’s not there…

I pick up the phone

Dialing the numbers to his home

Making sure I’m not wrong

The ringing takes so long

I could probably fly to America and still no answer

Just when I was letting go

A voice said “Hello”

Disappointment and anger

Flooded through

Realizing it’s a girl’s voice..

LONELINESS

What is loneliness?

Is loneliness a feeling

That pricks into your body

And pierces your heart

Rips it apart

And hopes that time will heal all wounds?

But time and tide wait for no man

They pass so fast that

Even rapids and waterfalls can't catch up with time

Before you know it

An eternity has passed

But yet your heart remains

Pricked open

Waiting for a special someoneTo drive away your loneliness

To be a surgeon and

Sew back the fragmented heart

That has been so hurt

So hurt

So hurt.....

Loneliness,

Afterall,

Is a feeling

That will remain forever in your heart

Until

Someone special comes along

Someone that makes your eyes twinkle and sparkle

Someone that makes your heart pumping incessantly

Someone that makes you YOU

Perhaps

Someone just wanna

Fall in love

Again...??

2005-05-26T01:25:00.000-07:00

Your #1 Match: INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #4 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #5 Match: INTJ

The Scientist

You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.

You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

What's Your Personality Type?

~*some ramblings from a girL*~